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Wrong Way Roland

Imagine all the folks who want to be our state's next U.S.Senator as jockeys competing in a high-stakes horse race called the Illinois Political Derby. The diminuitive Roland Burris, who hadn't won a race in 18 years was allowed by the legally-challenged race starter to lap the field twice before any of the other jockeys could run in 2010.

But Burris was barely out the gate when the strangest thing happened: His mount suddenly raised its front hooves, turned on its haunches and ran back to the gate with Roland ranting and raving at the steed as stunned race fans screamed at him to jump off the uncontrolled beast to save himself.

Roland's horse ran at full gallop back through the same gate from which it bolted (the guy who allowed him the early start had been escorted away from the track by race officials). The other jockeys joined the crowd screaming at their old friend to get off before he caused himself irreparable injury or perhaps worse.

But "Wrong Way Roland" was still in the saddle when he disappeared in a cloud of dust. At last report, he was on his way to Washington, still trying to turn it around. Who knows how far behind he'll be when the starter's gun sounds for the rest of the field in 2010.

Or will he be around at all?


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